NORTHAMERICANBOATSHOW

THE BIO !

Nabs was a man, born in the southern United States and raised middle-class. He became a military intelligence and security official by the age of 24

. . . our story truly begins on a special mission to brighten the image of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Nabs was sent to find the 14 different musical acts, worldwide, that called themselves "NATO," and to buy them out . . . or crush them, if need be.
There was a japanese pop group, some american rap dude, the british death metal band, and so on . . . until, on a disgustingly hot summer day in 2007, he came to a moderately sized industrial waste-land of a strip-mall called "Evansville, Indiana." The objective: find the youngest member of the sample-based noise group, NaTo, known as Nao Shneck.

Basically, the story could get really long here . . . but who wants that? The jist is, Nabs never finds Nao...
i heard there was a gruesome shoot-out with small firearms and members of a some Midwestern Rock band ...something like 7000 Charley, or, 600 Stanley. Apparently a guy in this rock band has nearly the same DNA as the member of the noise band, NATO. Close enough that the governments' tests could not tell the difference. Anyway... they're not the same guy. But, in the gun-fire, Nabs gets his guts blown out all-over a nice drawing table. Witnesses to the violence claim that two men that looked like tommy lee jones and will smith came out of nowhere, gnabbed Nabs, and then disappeared into a van they had painted with Ray-Banned-Sun-Glasses advertisements. Regardless, from what i heared, up until this point, Nabs was a complete hack. But, after the shoot-out, he was used for another even more secret military experiment... he was augmented and amplified into something like a pimped-out speed boat in human-looking skin. A friggin' fighting machine man machine.

But it gets worse...

With his new Adamantium skeleton, super-strength organs, and programmably murderous brain, Nabs continues his important mission and airplaned to California to find the other member of NATO, Tod Huebird (aka: Ellipse Elkshow).

Time flies by and Nabs finds jack-shit.

No one will tell Nabs where Elkshow is residing. The new Nabs has yet to figure out torture and kidnapping to obtain sensitive information. So, with no asses to kick in sight, Nabs decides to take a break and drive to a gas station.

According to a local newspaper, There was one less than a block away. At the gas station mini-mart, he looked at a heavy metal magazine for about 17 minutes, and then bought eight chemically-charged name-brand energy-enhancement beverages along with a 12-pack of benedryl_trademark allergy medicine. He paid the attendent, if you will, for his party gear and drove (the 1/13th of a mile) back to the empty apartment of that nato-whatever-music-guy.

Direct quote from the Saint Billy Graham Star Newspaper . . . Aug 14th, 2007...

"Nabs Mologna guzzled the three carbonated energy drinks and consumed the whole box of super-drowse allergy medication before stepping-foot in the apartment. He poked around the apartment for about 24 and a half minutes, then crashed, heavily to the floor."

Almost like the reporters were there.

I would venture to guess that, at this point, there was a really long Fugged-Up Dream sequence... but, you know . . . we've seen it in the movies... It was probably just like that.

the kicker . . . Nabs never wakes up the same.

A spot in the ceiling of the apartment, where the bathroom-from-above had been leaking through all spring and summer, crashes into the apartment spilling water, old cat-litter and debris all over the wireless internet router that was perched on a box below the now-gaping hole in the floor, above.

The way i understand it, the mix of water, old cat-crap and the invisible rays sent through the air by the wireless internet router caused a strange reaction with the electronics and the still-settling super-organs inside Nabs.

There is this disease that humans can get, apparently, from cat shit, called Toxoplasmosis...look it up, it's for real. well, an extreme version of this disease probably swirled throughout the thickly tragic and digitized air, causing Nabs to turn into a sort of obsessive and vapidly evil version of the guy who's apartment Nabs was passed-out in . . .

So now, armed with super powers and all sorts of ill shit... plus, a new-found attraction to cats, boats, evil, and sampling . . . a relatively new computer, too ... Nabs sets out to do random creative acts that alter and destroy the focused and convicted minds of the masses.

To overload them, to overload you, and to overload himself with everything you love. All the war, hate, game shows, actresses, radio-call-in-contests, news anchors, suffering, violence, distortion, name-calling and, yes, cute little kittens.

and toxoplasmosis

and everything
and

all
that you love.


the North American Boat Show.

Watch it speed-off, right over your sunset.

act interested.



listen...